One YearAgo

One year ago today I took my last phone call at work. My speech was so bad that no one could understand me. I had known for quite awhile that I shouldn't be answering phones or for that matter even working. But that particular day was especially difficult. I had to admit it to myself and then take the step to actually do something about it. Through tears I told my coworker Rhonda that I couldn't do it anymore that I needed to leave.  I was shaking from the stress of taking the phone calls and trying to communicate with patients that stood before me.  They would look at me like I was crazy. Is she drunk?  Is she okay?  I texted Kenny and asked him to please come get me. We headed straight over to my doctor who promptly put me on medical leave and started the referral process to see the neurologist at Barrows.  I had already done all the preliminary testing to rule out stroke, MS and a slew of other diagnosis.  By that time I had already been to nine specialists. It was actually a relief to be off work.  I was trying so hard to push through, be strong and keep going.  When the doctor looked at me and said you shouldn't be working it was both a kick in the stomach and also a free pass to finally put myself and my health first.  That was a difficult day. But who knew what DIFFICULT really was. Three months later the three letters were spoken that would define difficult once and for all. ALS.